The 4 Stages of Unshakeable Confidence in Public Speaking
Ed Darling
5 min read
- How your self-image shapes your confidence in public speaking.
- The four stages of building public speaking confidence.
- Practical steps to embark on your journey to speaking with confidence.
Why Confidence in Public Speaking Matters
If the thought of speaking with confidence in front of a group makes your stomach churn, you’re not alone. For many, public speaking feels like a one-way ticket to social disaster — cue the sweaty palms and visions of tripping over every word.
But let me tell you a secret: facing that fear head-on is the surest way to build unshakeable confidence in public speaking.
As a public speaking coach, I’ve seen it happen time and again: shy, nervous speakers who’d rather never be in the spotlight — transformed into the most engaging, self-assured versions of themselves. All through the magic of public speaking confidence.
If you’re thinking, “That sounds great, but how does forcing myself into my worst nightmare lead to more confidence?” — stick with me. In this article, I’ll walk you through the four stages of building confidence in public speaking.
By the end, you’ll be itching to get started. Let’s dive in!
Understanding Your Self-Image: The Key to Confidence
We each carry around a collection of subconscious opinions about ourselves — our self-image. Some of these thoughts lift us up, others are self-defeating.
They’re shaped by our life’s ups and downs:
- Were you the popular kid at school, or did you feel like the odd one out?
- Were you the golden child, or always in someone else’s shadow?
- Were you taught to chase adventure, or to stick to the safe path?
The sum total of these experiences often become mental soundbites, like:
“I’m just not someone people listen to.”
It can feel like confidence in public speaking is a set score — either you’ve got it, or you don’t. But that’s not true. Your self-image is more like tectonic plates, quietly shifting beneath the surface. When you start practising public speaking, things begin to shift, and confidence takes form from the inside out.
Let’s see how this unfolds through the four stages.
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Stage 1: “I’m a Nervous Wreck with Zero Confidence”
When you first dip your toes into public speaking, it’s normal to feel like a total mess. Sleepless nights, racing thoughts, and nightmares of blanking mid-speech? Been there.
You might imagine your audience — maybe your boss or colleagues — staring at you with disappointment as your legs start to shake and your voice quivers.
This makes sense. Unless you were lucky enough to join a debating club or drama classes as a kid, most of us get zero training in speaking with confidence. So, your first attempt at public speaking can feel like stepping into a lion’s den.
The truth is, those nerves are normal, and it’s never as bad as you think. Your audience isn’t the pack of judgmental wolves you imagine — they’re usually rooting for you.
Even if your first speech is a bit wobbly, it’s a massive step toward building confidence in public speaking. You’ve faced the fear, and that’s where the magic begins.
Pro Tip: Before your next talk, spend a few minutes diaphragmatic breathing (deep breath into your stomach) it won’t completely remove the nerves, but it’ll take the edge off and keep you grounded.
For more ways to calm nerves, check my 10 tips to overcome public speaking anxiety.
Stage 2: “I’m Shaky, but I’ve Got the Courage to Try”
After surviving your first speech, something shifts. The nerves are still there, but they’re mixed with a tiny spark of excitement.
You might feel like the kid who just screamed through a rollercoaster, and now wants another go. That shaky first attempt plants a powerful new thought: I’m someone who steps up, even when I’m scared.
This realisation is crucial for your confidence in public speaking. Each time you stand up to speak, it gets a smidge easier. You start to notice your voice steadying, your hands shaking less. With every step outside your comfort zone, your public speaking confidence grows, and you begin to build a new self-image — one of courage and resilience.
Note: This process works when you’re regularly getting the chance to speak, and ideally, in a “low pressure environment” If that’s not something you have access to, consider checking out our coaching programme.
Stage 3: “Public Speaking Is a Skill, and I’m Loving the Process”
By Stage 3, the worst of your anxiety has melted away, and — dare I say it — you’re starting to enjoy speaking with confidence!
With some practice under your belt, maybe a bit of training, you’ve got a handle on the basics: how to structure a talk, use your voice, and move with purpose.
Public speaking stops feeling like a horror show and starts feeling like a challenge you’re prepared for: how can I engage this audience and make my message land?
You stop obsessing over how you’re coming across and focus on what you’re giving your audience — insight, inspiration, or a good laugh. It’s the difference between speaking to get (praise, approval) and speaking to give (value, ideas).
This mindset boosts your confidence in public speaking and makes every talk more rewarding.
Others start to notice, too. Your colleagues see your public speaking confidence, your credibility grows, and opportunities to speak start popping up. For some, this stage is enough to feel fulfilled. But for others, a final stage calls.
Stage 4: “Confidence in Public Speaking Is My Superpower”
Welcome to the big leagues. At Stage 4, you’re a proper public speaking pro. You’ve mastered the craft, and you’re seen as a thought leader in your field.
You’re not just speaking with confidence — you’re inspiring others to feel more confident too. Keynotes, panels, podcasts, or even a TED Talk are all within reach.
You know now that great speakers aren’t born, they’re built. You’ve pushed far beyond your comfort zone, tackled countless challenges, and built your speaking confidence from a deep, authentic place.
You also realise there’s no end-point: just a continual journey of self-improvement, and new levels of confidence to master.
Quick Tip: Check out my guide to the best public speakers for a dose of inspiration. Every one of them started where you are now. Keep going, and you could be next.
Your Journey to Unshakeable Confidence in Public Speaking
There you have it: the four stages to unshakeable confidence in public speaking.
It’s not always smooth sailing, but no matter how nervous or unsure you feel right now, the path of public speaking is open to everyone.
It’s a powerful way to grow not just your confidence, but your ability to connect, lead, and inspire.
I know this because I’ve lived it. Years ago, I was crippled by social anxiety. Public speaking helped me overcome those fears, perform for hundreds of audiences, and build a business helping others find their charisma.
It’s been a wild ride, and I wouldn’t change it.
So, what’s next? When you’re ready, here’s where to start:
- Take a small step: Offer to speak at a local networking event, deliver a presentation at work, or speak virtually by going live on LinkedIn.
- Learn the ropes: If you’re ready to face your fears, check out our next 1-Day Masterclass, held every few months in Manchester, UK.
- Take the plunge: If you’re looking for comprehensive training, apply to join our 3-month coaching programme, suited to professionals & leaders of all confidence & experience levels.
Your journey to unshakeable confidence in public speaking starts with one courageous step. Take it today!
To your public speaking success,
Ed