3 Mindset Shifts Transformed my Public Speaking Confidence
Ed Darling
4 min read
What you’ll learn:
- Why ‘resisting’ public speaking nerves keeps you stuck.
- The importance of becoming a prolific (not perfect) speaker.
- The most powerful mindset for public speaking confidence.
Finding your public speaking confidence.
What if a shift in thinking could help you actually *enjoy* facing an audience?
You see, there are many challenges to developing public speaking confidence:
- Lack of skills
- Lack of training
- Lack of feedback
- Lack of opportunity
But these challenges become 10X harder because of one thing: Poor mindset.
Because how you think and feel about speaking in public, dramatically affects your experience. The right mindset can set you up for speaking success, while the wrong one will crumble your confidence.
In this post, I’m sharing three powerful mindset shifts that have transformed my public speaking confidence.
Read them. Repeat them. And before your next presentation, remember them!
Mindset Shift 1: Resisting Nerves → Radical Acceptance
When I suffered from glossophobia (public speaking anxiety), I tried to suppress my nerves. The moment a twinge of anxiety crept in, I’d focus on it like a hawk, trying to push down those feelings and force myself to stay calm.
It never worked!
Then one day, I came across a quote by Carl Jung:
“What you resist, persists.”
I realised I’d been doing exactly the wrong thing — resisting my anxious feelings and, in doing so, unknowingly keeping them fixed in place. The moment I began to accept how I felt and allowed those emotions to be, I immediately began to reclaim control over my nerves.
If you want to build public speaking confidence, you must first learn to accept any nervous feeling that come up.
It’s a difficult process at first. We’re programmed to bottle up our emotions in public. But by letting them be, and not resisting, you gradually reduce their power.
Mindset Shift 2: Being Perfect → Becoming Prolific
We all have a bit of perfectionism smouldering within us. But standing up in front of an audience adds rocket fuel to those embers. Suddenly, we feel the need to be a perfectly confident speaker — or else everyone will judge us and think we’re incompetent, right?
The trouble with perfectionism is that it keeps you stuck at square one, afraid to make the next move, waiting for the day you feel ready to speak up. (Spoiler alert: that day never comes.)
Becoming prolific means prioritising action above overthinking. It means racking up as many repetitions as you can, without putting pressure on yourself to get it right every time.
It’s the difference between hitting the pause button on your public speaking progress, and pressing fast-forward.
The quickest way to gain public speaking confidence, is to crack on getting as much practise as possible, without needing or expecting to be perfect.
Quick Tip: It’s hard to do build this mindset when the stakes are high. That’s why developing your public speaking skills in a supportive environment, such as a course or coaching programme, *wink wink!* is so beneficial.
Mindset Shift 3: Getting Approval → Giving Value
For a long time, I thought being a confident public speaker was about getting: applause, approval, acceptance. But eventually, I realised it’s about giving: ideas, insights, emotions.
You see, by focusing on what you’re there to get, you put yourself in a weaker position:
“I need them to like me, hire me, buy from me…”
Whereas, focusing on what you want to give, gives you a whole different energy. It stops you from getting wrapped up in your own self-conscious thoughts and keeps your attention firmly where it should be: on your audience.
Speaking to get makes you needy and nervous. Speaking to give keeps you focused and proactive!
Mindset alone won’t grant you public speaking confidence.
As you can see, I’m a big proponent of mindset.
I’ve experienced first-hand how it can reduce nerves, improve focus, and transform your confidence when speaking in public.
But mindset alone isn’t enough. No amount of affirmations, journaling, or positive self-talk can replace the skills, training, and repetition required to actually become a great speaker.
Authentic confidence comes from putting in the work, pushing your comfort zone, and proving to yourself, time and time again, that you can do this.
But combine the skill set with the mindset…
And you’ll experience what it’s like to be a top-tier presenter—cool, calm, completely in control, and with the audience in the palm of your hand.
To wrap up, true public speaking confidence comes from:
- Accepting your nerves, rather than resisting them.
- Focusing on becoming a prolific speaker, not a perfect one.
- Speaking always to give, rather than speaking to get.
Ed
Whenever you're ready, here's 3 ways I can help you:
1. Charisma Club: My flagship 3-month coaching programme for professionals. Follow a proven system to build confidence, find your charisma, and step-up as a speaker in your niche.
2. Speak & Present: Looking for a quick way to supercharge your public speaking skills? Face your fears, develop new skills, and deliver a live speech in our 1-day Masterclass for professionals.
3. Team Training: Bring confident communication to your team. I’ll help them to speak with clarity, enhance their leadership skills, and present with confidence. Bookable as half/full day training. Ideal for teams and senior leaders.