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3 Mindset Shifts to Unlock Your Public Speaking Confidence

ed darling public speaking coach

Ed Darling | 4 min read

Last updated: 17/06/2026

The right mindset is crucial for public speaking confidence.

Public speaking confidence doesn’t come from having the perfect script, or being a natural extravert (spoiler: many extraverts simply mask their anxiety).

It comes from three core things:

– Building the right skills
– Gaining real-world experience
– Directing the way you think (we’ll tackle this one.)

Most people stay stuck because of unhelpful mindsets around nerves, judgement, perfection, and approval.

Even experienced speakers who know their topic inside out, *still* manage to self-sabotage their confidence with faulty thinking patterns.

But with the right mindset, everything else gets easier. It’s not about shouting affirmations at yourself, it’s about directing your focus on the right things.

Here are three of the most powerful “speakers mindset shifts” I’ve found personally helpful, and now teach my clients.

Professional woman smiling while presenting to colleagues, showing the public speaking confidence that comes with the right mindset

1. From resisting nerves, to radical acceptance.

When I struggled with Glossophobia (public speaking anxiety), it felt as if I was battling against my nerves. The second my heart-rate increased, or my adrenaline began to build, I’d tense up and desperately try to stop those reactions from happening.
 
The trouble is – these physical symptoms of anxiety are run by our autonomic nervous system, meaning we have no conscious control over them. You can’t simply tell yourself to “stop feeling nervous”.
 
Then I stumbled across a quote from Carl Jung, who said: “What you resist, persists.”
 
Immediately, I realised my error. By trying so hard to resist my public speaking nerves, I’d been making the situation even worse. By focusing on the nerves, I was triggering my Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight, Flight, Freeze response) into an even bigger reaction.
 
So I started reacting differently. When the nerves came, I’d try to mentally accept them. To allow them to be, without resisting, or judging myself for them being there.
 
As I got better at this, my anxiety response to public speaking began to soften. It would still show up, but it no longer became all-consuming.
 

2. From chasing perfection, to becoming prolific.

Perfectionism is one of the worst (and most common) public speaking confidence traps. When you step up and see all those eye staring back, it’s easy to think, “I have to be perfect or everyone will judge me.”
 
The truth is, people *are* judging you, but they’re not expecting perfection.
 
By putting so much pressure on yourself to get everything right, you set yourself up to fail. 
 
So instead of giving it a go, and having the space to learn, many nervous speakers simply stop putting themselves out there. They take a back seat, let others do the speaking, and wait for the day they “feel ready” – which unfortunately, never comes.
 
Aim to be prolific, not perfect.
 
The mindset to counter to this is simple: focus on becoming prolific, not perfect. That means valuing the action over the result, saying “yes” to opportunities whenever they come up, and gaining as much exposure and experience as you can — without obsessing over getting it right every time.
 
A note on training: What often keeps people stuck is a lack of opportunity to practise speaking without the high-stakes. In all our training, we prioritise “low pressure practise” – allowing you to learn, practise, and improve at a rapid pace.
 
As G.K. Chesterton once wrote: “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”

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3. From seeking approval, to giving value.

For years, I thought public speaking confidence came from “the getting”: Applause, approval, and the perceived acceptance of your audience.
 
But the *need to get* mindset makes you needy and nervous, constantly worrying, “Will they like me?”
 
Eventually, I realised that script can be flipped. Because the best speakers never focus on what they need from the audience, but on what they’re there to give: An idea, an insight, an emotion.
 
When you focus on serving your audience, your energy shifts. You’re no longer trapped in self-conscious thoughts. You’re focused outwards, on your message, and the positive impact you want to make.
 
This public speaking “as a service” mindset gives you a sense of forward momentum which pushes through nerves, and grounds you in the task at hand. It’s no longer about you. It’s about your audience.
 
Quick Tip: Before your next talk, ask yourself, “What do my audience need from this?” Think about how you can best help them, and all the positive knock-on effects that happen if you give them exactly what they need. When you have a bigger purpose to serve, the nerves become less significant.

Mindset + skills = genuine public speaking confidence.

Mindset can sometimes be fluffy. But honestly, focusing on these specific shifts has been a huge part of my own journey – from crippling social anxiety, to professional public speaker.
 
They’ve helped me to manage my nerves, maintain a positive perspective, and continually step beyond my comfort-zone until I found myself speaking at conferences to 200+ people. 
 
But let’s be clear: Mindset alone isn’t enough. It’s only part of the recipe. 
 
Alongside these mindset shifts, there’s a few other key ingredients needed to transform nerves into genuine confidence. Inside my training, we call this the 4-part charisma framework:
 
1. Skill Acquisition – learning the fundamental skills of communication.
2. Low-Pressure Practise – honing those skills consistently in a low-stakes environment.
3. Guided Rehearsal – working together to prepare for real-life speaking opportunities
4. Real World Wins – positive speaking experiences that build genuine confidence.

 

Which mindset shift resonates with you? Drop me a message on LinkedIn, or if you’re ready to have a chat about transforming your public speaking confidence, book a call with me here. 
 
To your public speaking success,
Ed

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Hey Ed,

Just wanted to share some feedback we had from the delegates after the October Away day 😊 You went down a storm!

– Presentation skills session very good
– The presentation skills session was AMAZING! Very informative and will definitely come in handy.
– Really enjoyed the presentation skills
– Speaker was very engaging and interesting and worked for all aspects of our work
– The presentation was amazing, getting to interact with each other and learning different presentation skills.- there wasn’t a moment which I found it boring or not helpful.

Jess Docksey, Workforce & Education Programme Manager

 

“Absolutely Brilliant training session to do, really enjoyed it. Ed was fab made everyone feel at ease, more confident and relaxed. I will take so much away from this session thanks Ed, you do a great job 👍👏”

Diane Axford — GMCA

 

“Attended an excellent full day session hosted by Ed at Project Charisma, it was a fantastic learning experience and would recommend to anyone who gets the chance.
Ed made everyone feel at ease even when facing our insecurities, individual conversations around the exercises left no question unanswered. A great experience that I can put into practice straight away.”

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100% recommendation rate! All attendees gave you a 10 on how likely they would be to recommend the workshop to peers!

Here’s a summary of the group’s feedback from the session:

  • “The workshop was well-timed, with an excellent balance of information, interactive activities, and group work that kept participants engaged.”

  • “Ed, the facilitator, was professional, knowledgeable, and exceptional at delivering clear, constructive feedback. His energy and positivity helped create a safe and supportive environment, which was particularly important given that many participants were outside their comfort zones with public speaking. Ed’s personal story of overcoming anxiety resonated with the group, fostering trust and making the experience more relatable.”

  • “The content was well-structured, breaking down key elements to make the learning process less daunting, and the pacing was comfortable for everyone. The variety of tasks, including the workbook to take away, added value, and the session ultimately empowered participants to deliver speeches with confidence.”

Ideas that resonated with the group the most:

Presentation Structure: Key techniques like planning, the “rule of three,” and the power of pausing.

Audience Engagement: Effective strategies such as the “audience hug” and balanced eye contact (“light housing”).

Public Speaking Elements: Focus on body language, voice modulation, and mindset.

Vocal Variety & Filler Words: Importance of vocal variety and minimising filler words.

Mindset Shift: Emphasis on being prolific over perfect; enthusiasm and charisma over confidence.

All the group have rated themselves as an 8, 9 or 10 in terms of confidence in demonstrating the skills they have learnt in your session.

Other comments:

“This workshop has given me a great toolkit to help build my presenting skills. I feel more empowered in my public speaking and have the confidence to participate in presentations within my role.”

“I thought it was well run, the overall content was excellent. Great feedback throughout the course to support not only the individual but also the group. I would recommend the course strongly to my peers.”

“Was nervous going into the class, worried that it would be a bit school-like or based more in acting (which it was not). Thoroughly enjoyed the experience – would love to do it again later on in the year/next year to look see how my skill has (hopefully) improved.”

“I thoroughly enjoyed this workshop and was highly impressed with Ed. Ed’s approach to the subject, his personal story, the layout of the workshop and his energy made for an engaging, memorable and impactful workshop. Ed was able to give helpful feedback to everyone whilst also filled us with encouragement and confidence. I feel he shared some life skills that I will take forward with me in my career and I would love the opportunity to work with him again!”