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3 Mindset Shifts to Unlock Your Public Speaking Confidence

ed darling public speaking coach

Ed Darling | 4 min read

Last updated: 25/11/2025

Why Mindset Matters for Public Speaking Confidence

Whether you’re pitching in a boardroom or toasting at a wedding, there are plenty of reasons to not feel confident:

  • Lack of skills
  • Lack of experience
  • Lack of preparation

But the biggest roadblock? Mindset. Because how you think (and feel) about facing an audience shapes your experience.
 
The right mindset serves your confidence, the wrong one sabotages it.
 
Here are three powerful mindset shifts that helped me go from struggling with social anxiety and a fear of public speaking, to doing it for a living — and enjoying facing an audience!
 
Read them, repeat them, and keep them in mind before your next presentation.
Professional woman demonstrating public speaking confidence to an audience.

1. From Resisting Nerves to Radical Acceptance

When I struggled with glossophobia (aka public speaking anxiety), I used to go to battle against my nerves. The second my heart raced, or my adrenaline began to build, I’d zero in on those feelings, desperate to bottle them up.
 
Spoiler: it never worked.
 
Then I stumbled across a quote from Carl Jung:
 
“What you resist, persists.”
 
I immediately realised I’d been approaching things the wrong way. By resisting my public speaking nerves, I was giving them power. The more I fought against them, the more I triggered my Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight, Flight, Freeze response) into thinking there really was a threat.
 
The moment I started accepting those feelings — letting them exist without judgment or resistance — I began to feel gradually more in control.
 
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you love being nervous; it means you stop fighting your bodies automatic reactions, and stop creating a “fear of the fear”.
 
Quick Tip: Next time nerves hit, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way.” It’s not a quick fix, but it’s a crucial first step to building true public speaking confidence.

2. From Chasing Perfection to Becoming Prolific

Perfectionism is the enemy of public speaking confidence. When you step on stage, it’s easy to think, “I have to be flawless, or everyone will judge me.”
 
Sound familiar? That self-imposed pressure keep many nervous speakers stuck: afraid of failing publicly, waiting for the day they “feel confident”, not realising that day never comes. 
 
Instead, aim to be prolific, not perfect.
 
Focus on action — racking up as many speaking experiences as possible — without obsessing over getting it right every time. Place your satisfaction on the process, not the outcome.
 
Every talk, even the messy ones, build your skills and confidence. If you don’t have access to what we call “Low Pressure Practise”, then consider joining a training programme, where you can learn & improve without the high-stakes
 
As G.K. Chesterton once wrote: “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”

3. From Seeking Approval to Giving Value

For years, I thought public speaking confidence came from “the getting”: Applause, approval, or acceptance.
 
But that mindset made me needy and nervous, constantly worrying, “Will they like me?”
 
Eventually, I realised that script needed to be flipped. It’s not about the getting, it’s about “the giving”: Ideas, insights, inspiration.
 
When you speak to give value, your energy shifts. You’re no longer trapped in self-conscious thoughts. You’re focused on your audience, your message, and the positive impact you want to make.
 
This public speaking “as a service” mindset gives you a sense of forward momentum which pushes through nerves, and grounds you in the task at hand. It’s no longer about you. It’s about your audience.
 
Quick Tip: Before your next talk, ask yourself, “What do I want my audience to learn or feel?” Think about the one person who most needs to hear what you’ll say. Then extrapolate out all the positive knock-on effects for them, from hearing your talk. Now you’ve found your real purpose for speaking. 

Mindset + Skills = Unstoppable Public Speaking Confidence

I’m a huge fan of a strong public speaking mindset — it’s helped me tame nerves, sharpen focus, and feel at ease on stage.
 
But let’s be clear: mindset alone won’t make you a great speaker. It’s a powerful tool, but only one in a much wider process.
 
No amount of positive thinking can replace the right skills, training, and real-world practice. It requires a combination of both competence and confidence to truly own the stage. 
 
But if you can learn the skills, hone your practise, and pair this with the correct mindset shifts, you’ll be making great progress.  
 
To recap, unlock public speaking confidence by:
  • Accepting your nerves instead of fighting them.
  • Prioritizing prolific practice over perfection.
  • Focusing on giving value, not seeking approval.

Which mindset shift resonates with you? Drop me a message on LinkedIn, or if you’re ready to have a chat about transforming your public speaking skills & confidence, book a call with me here. 
 
Here’s to speaking with confidence and owning every stage!
 
Ed

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100% recommendation rate! All attendees gave you a 10 on how likely they would be to recommend the workshop to peers!

Here’s a summary of the group’s feedback from the session:

  • “The workshop was well-timed, with an excellent balance of information, interactive activities, and group work that kept participants engaged.”

  • “Ed, the facilitator, was professional, knowledgeable, and exceptional at delivering clear, constructive feedback. His energy and positivity helped create a safe and supportive environment, which was particularly important given that many participants were outside their comfort zones with public speaking. Ed’s personal story of overcoming anxiety resonated with the group, fostering trust and making the experience more relatable.”

  • “The content was well-structured, breaking down key elements to make the learning process less daunting, and the pacing was comfortable for everyone. The variety of tasks, including the workbook to take away, added value, and the session ultimately empowered participants to deliver speeches with confidence.”

Ideas that resonated with the group the most:

Presentation Structure: Key techniques like planning, the “rule of three,” and the power of pausing.

Audience Engagement: Effective strategies such as the “audience hug” and balanced eye contact (“light housing”).

Public Speaking Elements: Focus on body language, voice modulation, and mindset.

Vocal Variety & Filler Words: Importance of vocal variety and minimising filler words.

Mindset Shift: Emphasis on being prolific over perfect; enthusiasm and charisma over confidence.

All the group have rated themselves as an 8, 9 or 10 in terms of confidence in demonstrating the skills they have learnt in your session.

Other comments:

“This workshop has given me a great toolkit to help build my presenting skills. I feel more empowered in my public speaking and have the confidence to participate in presentations within my role.”

“I thought it was well run, the overall content was excellent. Great feedback throughout the course to support not only the individual but also the group. I would recommend the course strongly to my peers.”

“Was nervous going into the class, worried that it would be a bit school-like or based more in acting (which it was not). Thoroughly enjoyed the experience – would love to do it again later on in the year/next year to look see how my skill has (hopefully) improved.”

“I thoroughly enjoyed this workshop and was highly impressed with Ed. Ed’s approach to the subject, his personal story, the layout of the workshop and his energy made for an engaging, memorable and impactful workshop. Ed was able to give helpful feedback to everyone whilst also filled us with encouragement and confidence. I feel he shared some life skills that I will take forward with me in my career and I would love the opportunity to work with him again!”