3 Mindset Shifts to Unlock Your Public Speaking Confidence
Ed Darling
4 min read
What you’ll learn:
- Why resisting public speaking nerves keeps you stuck.
- How to become a prolific (not perfect) speaker.
- The most powerful “speakers’ mindset” for unshakeable confidence.
Why Mindset Matters for Public Speaking Confidence
What if a simple shift in thinking could turn public speaking from a nerve-wracking ordeal into something you actually enjoy?
There are plenty of other challenges: lack of skills, lack of experience, lack of structure… But the biggest roadblock? A poor public speaking mindset. How you think about speaking in front of an audience shapes your experience.
The right mindset builds your confidence; the wrong one crumbles it.
Here are three powerful mindset shifts that helped me go from struggling with social anxiety and a fear of public speaking, to doing it for a living — and enjoying facing an audience!
Read them, repeat them, and keep them in mind before your next presentation.
1. From Resisting Nerves to Radical Acceptance
When I struggled with glossophobia (aka public speaking anxiety), I used to go to battle against my nerves. The second my heart raced, or my adrenaline began to build, I’d zero in on those feelings, desperate to bottle them up.
Spoiler: it never worked.
Then I stumbled across a quote from Carl Jung:
“What you resist, persists.”
I immediately realised I’d been approaching things the wrong way. By resisting my public speaking nerves, I was giving them power. The more I fought against them, the more I triggered my Sympathetic Nervous System (Fight, Flight, Freeze response) into thinking there really was a threat.
The moment I started accepting those feelings — letting them exist without judgment or resistance — I began to feel gradually more in control.
Radical acceptance doesn’t mean you love being nervous; it means you stop fighting your bodies automatic reactions, and stop creating a “fear of the fear”.
Quick Tip: Next time nerves hit, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “It’s okay to feel this way.” It’s not a quick fix, but it’s a crucial first step to building true public speaking confidence.
2. From Chasing Perfection to Becoming Prolific
Perfectionism is the enemy of public speaking confidence. When you step on stage, it’s easy to think, “I have to be flawless, or everyone will judge me.”
Sound familiar? That self-imposed pressure keep many nervous speakers stuck: afraid of failing publicly, waiting for the day they “feel confident”, not realising that day never comes.
Instead, aim to be prolific, not perfect.
Focus on action — racking up as many speaking experiences as possible — without obsessing over getting it right every time. Place your satisfaction on the process, not the outcome.
Every talk, even the messy ones, build your skills and confidence. If you don’t have access to what we call “Low Pressure Practise”, then consider joining a training programme, where you can learn & improve without the high-stakes
As G.K. Chesterton once wrote: “If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”
3. From Seeking Approval to Giving Value
For years, I thought public speaking confidence came from “the getting”: Applause, approval, or acceptance.
But that mindset made me needy and nervous, constantly worrying, “Will they like me?”
Eventually, I realised that script needed to be flipped. It’s not about the getting, it’s about “the giving”: Ideas, insights, inspiration.
When you speak to give value, your energy shifts. You’re no longer trapped in self-conscious thoughts. You’re focused on your audience, your message, and the positive impact you want to make.
This public speaking “as a service” mindset gives you a sense of forward momentum which pushes through nerves, and grounds you in the task at hand. It’s no longer about you. It’s about your audience.
Quick Tip: Before your next talk, ask yourself, “What do I want my audience to learn or feel?” Think about the one person who most needs to hear what you’ll say. Then extrapolate out all the positive knock-on effects for them, from hearing your talk. Now you’ve found your real purpose for speaking.
Mindset + Skills = Unstoppable Public Speaking Confidence
I’m a huge fan of a strong public speaking mindset — it’s helped me tame nerves, sharpen focus, and feel at ease on stage.
But let’s be clear: mindset alone won’t make you a great speaker. It’s a powerful tool, but only one in a much wider process.
No amount of positive thinking can replace the right skills, training, and real-world practice. It requires a combination of both competence and confidence to truly own the stage.
But if you can learn the skills, hone your practise, and pair this with the correct mindset shifts, you’ll be making great progress.
To recap, unlock public speaking confidence by:
-
Accepting your nerves instead of fighting them.
-
Prioritizing prolific practice over perfection.
-
Focusing on giving value, not seeking approval.
Which mindset shift resonates with you? Drop me a message on LinkedIn, or if you’re ready to have a chat about transforming your public speaking skills & confidence, book a call with me here.
Here’s to speaking with confidence and owning every stage!
Ed