How to Speak as a Leader (Coach Reveals)
Ed Darling | 3 min read
Last updated: 25/11/2025
Success in business requires the ability to communicate with clarity and confidence.
But what does it take to start speaking as a leader?
In this second episode of Charisma Talks, I talk with leadership coach Stephen Lock about the power of public speaking, facing challenges, and developing as a leader.
Watch above, or read the essential takeaways below.
Watch the interview.
Embracing Discomfort for Personal Growth:
Public speaking can significantly contribute to personal development, particularly for those who are naturally shy or introverted. It’s not about seeking external validation but about building self-esteem and enhancing leadership skills. Stephen explains,
“If you push yourself outside your comfort zone, you grow… If you can do any hard thing that challenges you, you grow.”
This growth comes from facing resistance and learning from each experience, much like building muscle through physical exercise. By regularly putting oneself in challenging speaking situations, a leader can build resilience and confidence.
Gradual Exposure to Public Speaking
For those nervous about speaking, Stephen recommends a gradual approach. Start with small, safe audiences and progressively increase the challenge. He compares this to overcoming arachnophobia, where exposure is increased step-by-step.
“Start… in front of 10 safe people and… then just keep going.”
This method ensures that each experience builds on the previous one, steadily increasing the speaker’s confidence and capability without overwhelming them.
Breaking Self-Imposed Barriers in Leadership
Stephen shares his journey of climbing the leadership ladder and the realisation that success is more about action than inherent superiority. He states:
“I realised they weren’t smarter or better or cleverer than me… the only difference was they were doing it and I wasn’t.”
This insight highlights the importance of self-belief in leadership. Many potential leaders hold themselves back due to misconceptions about those at the top. Recognising that everyone has similar capacities can empower individuals to pursue higher roles.
The Importance of Self-Discovery
Understanding oneself is crucial for setting meaningful goals. Stephen advises deep introspection to uncover true values and motivations, which guide career and life decisions. He mentions:
“Do you really understand who you are underneath… who you’re pretending to be?”
This self-awareness helps leaders set realistic, long-term goals that align with their values and ensure sustainable well-being. For instance, Stephen’s clients realised they valued ambition and family, respectively, leading them to make different choices about their careers.
Utilising Public Speaking for Career Advancement
Stephen’s evolution from a nervous 15-year-old speaker to a confident presenter demonstrates public speaking’s transformative power. Authenticity and self-deprecating humour are effective tools in connecting with an audience. Stephen notes:
“If you’ve done the work to understand who you are… the confidence is I’m enough.”
Authenticity builds trust and makes a speaker more relatable, essential qualities for leaders. Stephen’s ability to hold an audience’s attention and convey genuine passion serves as an excellent example for aspiring leaders.
The Role of Coaching and Continuous Improvement
Both Stephen and Ed emphasise the value of coaching in guiding individuals through self-discovery and goal setting. A coach provides necessary support and accountability to stay on track. Stephen remarks:
“You need a coach… to have a whole holistic approach to all of these things.”
Continuous practice and feedback are crucial. Stephen’s experience with virtual talks during the pandemic illustrates the importance of adapting and learning from each experience, even in challenging circumstances.
Encouraging Action Despite Nervousness
Both speakers acknowledge their own nervousness and emphasise that it’s natural. They encourage others to push through their fears, take action, and learn from each experience. Stephen advises:
“If we feel like that… being a bit nervous, being a bit cautious is totally natural but just have a go anyway.”
Starting with small steps and gradually taking on bigger challenges is a practical strategy for overcoming fear and building confidence, crucial for effective leadership.
Conclusion - Speaking Like a Leader
The link between public speaking and leadership is such a strong one. To develop as a leader, you must be able to communicate your ideas with clarity and confidence.
Doing this usually means embracing discomfort, understanding yourself more deeply, and taking gradual steps to build your skills and confidence.
As we mentioned in the episode, it’s entirely normal to get nervous – that’s just part of the process! But by continually improving, playing the long game, and getting the help of a coach or trainer where needed, anyone can learn to step up — and speak as a leader!
When you're ready, 3 ways to work with me...
Coaching Programme: Follow a proven system to build confidence, find your charisma, and step-up as a speaker in your niche.
1-Day Masterclass: Learn everything you need in 1 day to face your fears, and begin speaking with confidence.
Corporate Team Training: Bring confident communication to your team. High impact workshops, events talks, and leadership training.
