What It Actually Takes to Speak as a Leader (Coach Reveals)
Ed Darling | 3 min read
Last updated: 17/06/2026
Most leaders know they need to speak with confidence, but many still hold themselves back.
Whether it’s presenting to stakeholders, or speaking at events, the way you communicate directly impacts how you’re perceived and how far you progress.
In a recent episode of Charisma Talks, I spoke with leadership coach Stephen Lock about what holds leaders back, and the practical shifts that help them speak with more presence and impact.
Watch the video, or read my personal highlights.
Embracing discomfort leads to personal growth.
Public speaking can significantly contribute to personal development, particularly for those who are naturally shy or introverted. It’s not about seeking external validation but about building self-esteem and enhancing leadership skills. Stephen explains,
“If you push yourself outside your comfort zone, you grow… If you can do any hard thing that challenges you, you grow.”
This growth comes from facing resistance and learning from each experience, much like building muscle through physical exercise. By regularly putting oneself in challenging speaking situations, a leader can build resilience and confidence.
Gradual exposure is the winning approach.
For those nervous about speaking, Ed recommends a gradual approach. Start with small, safe audiences and progressively increase the challenge. He compares this to overcoming arachnophobia, where exposure is increased step-by-step.
“Start… in front of 10 safe people and… then just keep going.”
This method ensures that each experience builds on the previous one, steadily increasing the speaker’s confidence and capability without overwhelming them.
Break your self-imposed barriers to leadership.
Stephen shares his journey of climbing the leadership ladder and the realisation that success is more about action than inherent superiority. He states:
“I realised they weren’t smarter or better or cleverer than me… the only difference was they were doing it and I wasn’t.”
This highlights the importance of self-belief in leadership. Many potential leaders hold themselves back due to misconceptions about those at the top. Recognising that everyone faces similar challenges (including around public speaking fears), helps you to keep progressing.
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The importance of self-discovery for leaders.
Understanding oneself is crucial for setting meaningful goals. Stephen advises deep introspection to uncover true values and motivations, which guide career and life decisions. He mentions:
“Do you really understand who you are underneath… who you’re pretending to be?”
This self-awareness helps leaders set realistic, long-term goals that align with their values and ensure sustainable well-being. For instance, Stephen’s clients realised they valued ambition and family, respectively, leading them to make different choices about their careers.
Utilising public speaking for career advancement.
Stephen shares his evolution from a nervous 15-year-old speaker to a confident presenter. Authenticity and self-deprecating humour are effective tools in connecting with an audience. Stephen notes:
“If you’ve done the work to understand who you are… the confidence is I’m enough.”
Authenticity builds trust and makes a speaker more relatable, essential qualities for leaders. You need to hold people’s attention and share genuine passion for your topic.
The role of coaching and continuous improvement.
Both Stephen and Ed emphasise the value of coaching in guiding individuals through self-discovery and goal setting. A coach provides necessary support and accountability to stay on track. Stephen remarks:
“You need a coach… to have a whole holistic approach to all of these things.”
Continuous practice and feedback are crucial. Stephen’s experience with virtual talks during the pandemic illustrates the importance of adapting and learning from each experience, even in challenging circumstances.
Encouraging action despite nervousness.
Both speakers acknowledge their own nervousness and emphasise that it’s natural. They encourage others to push through their fears, take action, and learn from each experience. Stephen advises:
“If we feel like that… being a bit nervous, being a bit cautious is totally natural but just have a go anyway.”
Starting with small steps and gradually taking on bigger challenges is a practical strategy for overcoming fear and building confidence, crucial for effective leadership.
How to speak with leadership authority.
The link between public speaking and leadership is undeniable. We all expect leaders to communicate their ideas with clarity, and with confidence.
It’s not a skill many leaders start with, but it’s one that anyone can learn. At Project Charisma, that’s exactly what we do: help leaders and professional to build their skills, and step up with confidence.
If you’re in a leadership role now, or looking to be soon, it’s worth getting your public speaking skills up to scratch as soon as possible. To get started, check out the options below, and book in a call when you’re ready.
To your public speaking success,
Ed
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