Self-esteem is, simply put, how you view yourself and your abilities. To improve your self-esteem you don’t need to make radical changes, in fact, you only need to make small incremental tweaks.

Today I will teach you 3 changes you make to your life, starting today, which will have a massive effect on your self-esteem. When you read the techniques below, at first, you will think, how can doing this easy action make a real difference to my personal confidence?

I agree, its hard to see how powerful a simple change in your life can have such positive results. I suppose you have a choice, you can keep doing the same thing you are doing now, but this will only lead to the same result. Or you can take action, you can make a change, and reflect on the impact of this powerful change

Simple Self Esteem Change – Number 1

Be nice to your self

Yes, it’s that easy. The difference between someone with high levels or confidence and someone with low levels of self-esteem is their self-love.

If you criticise yourself, fill your head with negative opinions about your character or if you compare yourself to other people (who you believe are better then you), you have fallen into the self-destroyer mode.

Being nice to yourself is easy. Each day you need to reflect on yesterday. Write a list of what you achieved. If you failed at something, write a list of what you learned and how you developed.

Compare yourself to an older version of you, how did this current you take action, what previous experiences have given you the skills to complete yesterdays task? Which of your character traits and strengths helped you to get through the day?

How you view yourself comes down to your perspective. Be nice to yourself and change the frame of your reflection.

Simple Self Esteem Change – Number 2

Speak to yourself as you would speak to your friends

With your friends, you will have a different tone compared to when you criticise yourself. In fact, the language you use with friends differed from your own negative self-talk.

Even if a friend has made an error you wouldn’t just complain, tell them that they are idiots, would you? Instead, you would be supportive, offer advice, and explain that they can do it!

If you recognize that you are in the self destroyer mode, stop and imagine that you are talking to a pal. Become supportive, helpful and good friend.

Simple Self Esteem Change – Number 3

Stop trying to be perfect.

For me this is the best advice. To be reading this article you have probably recognized that you have low self-esteem and have decided to do something about it – by the way, this is amazing!

But many of the clients the project charisma team work with, when they want to go from a self destroyer to supercharged self-esteem, make a simple mistake – they want to be perfect.

Let me explain – no-one, not even the most self-confident person in the world is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all get things wrong, we are all life-long learners.

Having self-esteem means that you have self-love, you appreciate your characteristics, you skills, your abilities and strengths. But you will still learn through mistakes, you will still do things that are highly embarrassing and you will fail, many times. But with self-esteem, you change the perspective and see mistakes as learning opportunities. If some people don’t like you, fine, other people do (and you like yourself) If you are unsuccessfully in one situation, as an example a job interview you will most likely to get the offered a job in the next one

Its this positive mindset and self-encouragement that keeps you motivated and increase your confidence levees

Author – Chris Delaney Confidence Coach @projectcharisma

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Increase self-esteem easily with this simple method


Over the past 15 years, Chris has built up a reputation as a successful therapist, helping clients to overcome their fears and to achieve their goals. Chris empowers his clients to take control of their own life. Chris’s client led style of therapy is friendly, professional and confidential, and he has developed his own version of phobia therapy which he calls 'fast therapy', which has revolutionised the therapeutic landscape. This technique can allow massive changes in and during one of our sessions, no matter how big your blocks may be.

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